The Oscars are tonight. Lost in Translation, Return of the King, Mystic River, Master and Commander, and Seabiscuit are up for Best Picture. I've seen them all, and here's my take.

Aside from bearing a title more fitting for a gay S&M flick, Master and Commander just wasn't an Oscar-quality movie. It's entertaining, but the least worthy nominee of the five. I snuck beers into the movie, which made it more enjoyable. Seabiscuit won more praise from moviegoers than critics, so it won't win. It's definitely worth seeing nonetheless. Unlike most trilogies, the inverse order of The Lord of the Rings' films reveals the series' rankings in terms of quality. The Return of the King is about a half-hour too long, but the purists would certainly be complaining if it didn't stay true to every detail of the book. After watching about eleven hours of essentially one long movie, doesn't the audience deserve an award too?

Lost in Translation is a cool little movie. The film is rumored to be semi-autobiographical, with director Sofia Coppola's marriage break-up with Spike Jonze the backdrop. Supposedly, the superficial husband/photographer is modeled on Jonze, with the beautiful blonde actress he seems to be interested in based on Cameron Diaz. Bill Murray deserves the best actor nod. The soundtrack is really cool, particularly the use of The Jesus and Mary Chain's Just Like Honey at the film's close.

Mystic River is the best of the bunch, and not just because the real Mystic river flowed at the end of the street where I grew up. Everyone is talking about Sean Penn, but for me Tim Robbins' understated performance stole the show. Robbins' two friends leave him high and dry early in life, and then re-enact their performance in adulthood. On one level, Mystic River is a garden variety thriller. On another level, it is a film about the true meaning of manhood, the legal authorities turning a blind eye toward the priesthood's molestation scandal, and the debts owed to children from those responsible for them. Because I'm too much of a rube to figure all this out on my own, my wife had to point out many of the movie's subtleties. From the discomforting scene laced with sexual undertones between Sean Penn and his daughter to the abduction of the adolescent Robbins by a priest and a man flashing a phony badge (juxtaposed with Penn's cross tattoo and Bacon's law enforcement role later in life), there's a lot to talk about by the time the credits roll.