If "We Are Family" isn't the theme song of this year's Democratic National Convention, then maybe it should be. Howard Dean needs to call the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates and see if they could lend him the 8-track. Politics is an orgy of nepotism. At their national convention, the Democratic Party appears as one of those parties that you have to be related to someone to get on the guest list. "How did I get in?," Barack Obama must be wondering.

Nancy Pelosi, whose father and brother served as mayors of Baltimore, appropriately kicked off the convention of politician progenies. Jesse Jackson, Jr., apparently a legacy admission to the DNC's roster, spoke in prime time. So did Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill, whose Aryan-Youth posterchildren introducting her makes me think the family business that began with both of McCaskill's parents will continue with her blue-eyed, blond-haired spawn. Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's dad was president 45 years ago, so a slot was reserved for her to introduce her ailing uncle. Aside from being the brother of the president, Ted Kennedy's dad served as the ambassador to the United Kingdom and his grandfather served as the mayor of Boston. Ted K's introduction to politics, if you remember, was the 100-mile-an-hour debate hardball: "If your name was simply Edward Moore instead of Edward Moore Kennedy, your candidacy would be a joke." Alas, the fellow delivering the high heat, Edward McCormick, was the nephew of the speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Not only did the nominee's wife speak, but so did Michelle Obama's brother and Barack Obama's half sister. Was that guy living in a box in Nairobi busy or something? I didn't see any fifth cousins twice removed, but it may just be that I wasn't paying attention. Speakers for the next few days include Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius (daughter of Ohio Governor John Gilligan), Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey, Jr. (son of Pennsylvania Governor Bob Casey), Chicago Mayor Richard Daley (son of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley), and Indiana Senator Evan Bayh (son of Indiana Senator Birch Bayh). Alas, the Republican Party is no better. The titular head of the GOP grew up with his grandfather in the U.S. Senate, and much later, his father in the White House.

It's a good thing democracy replaced the irrationality of government by birth-right with government by the people.

Can you say American Monarchy?