Who knows, John Mark Karr may not be guilty of JonBenet Ramsey's murder. But he's guilty of something. I accuse him on the following crimes, which may not be actual crimes in the law books but they should be:
Guilty of not using the neck machine at the gym
John Mark Karr's neck is roughly the size of my wrist. If his head were any larger, it would certainly flop around like a baby's.
Guilty of pulling his pants up to his chest
Leaving aside his lame Polo shirt and bargain-bin slacks, John Mark Karr's pants literally extend above his belly button. Martin Short's Ed Grimley comes to mind.
Guilty of writing really bad poetry
His poem, JonBenet, My Love, reads: "JonBenet, my love, my life. I love you and shall forever love you. I pray that you can hear my voice calling out to you from my darkness--this darkness that now separates us." Is this for real, or does this guy just have a really twisted sense of humor?
Guilty of the classic, three-name, serial-killer stylings
Does anyone that you know use three names? If so, call the police and tell them there's a serial killer--actual or potential--on the loose. Arrest him before his three-name curse causes him to harm others. On second thought, I suspect few serial killers, mass murderers, or otherwise creepy people actually went by three names before their arrests. Perhaps this is a police thing to prejudice the public, or more likely a media thing to differentiate the criminal from other people by the same name. Anyhow, I'm open to withdraw this charge if evidence shows that John Mark Karr went by John Karr before his arrest. If he played on the three-name team, then he should certainly go away for a very long time.
Guilty of the pedophile look
Some women have the come-hither look. Some men have the I'm-gonna-kill-you look (Some men shave their heads and grow gotees to purposely get this look, which defeats the purpose). John Mark Karr has that I-don't-date-older-than-my-shoe-size look. He's so creepy that he creeps out the creepy people. My sense is that at some point in his life, he went door-to-door offering to baby-sit strangers' kids for free.
That's my five-count indictment. Did I miss anything? Anyone care to come to Mr. Karr's defense? What type of punishment does justice demand for such offenses as bad poetry, wearing regular slacks as if they were overalls, and adopting the pedophile style?
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Well if my journalistic sources are right,( Inside Edition), a becon of serious journalism if there ever was one:) The guy has been married twice, Married his first wife when she was only 14, married his second wife when she was only 16.
So I think this guy is already guilty of quite a bit.
Regarding the poetry, hardly a crime, get him the right producer and he could become a rap artist.
I think wearing the pants up to his chest is his own feeble attempt to protect himself from the plans his future cellmate will have for him.
As for adopting the pedophile style, I've no doubt that the ACLU is gathering it's forces as we speak to defend his right to do so.
it's the turtleneck pants in that his pants are so high that they almost serve as a turtleneck.
Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. It has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a supposed pedofile, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
you forgot about buttoning the top button of his polo shirt.
The fact that John Mark Karr, as a grown man, wrote love poetry to a 6-year-old girl puts him on my Creepy List.
Didn't I hear that he was looking to have a sex change operation? If he winds up in our penal system, it'll likely be paid for with tax money.
What that a play on words? Penal system.
LOL...
Couldn't help myself. ;-)
You know what though? I'd like to stop hearing about this weirdo until we have the results of the DNA evidence and it is proved conclusively that he is the killer. In the meantime, there is way too much information being disseminated about this guy.
Hey Daniel, you know how most of those people who can't shutup about how sinful gayness is are gay themselves??
Maybe we need to seperate you from the children buddy.
Honestly. Non-stop. Pedophlies. Pedophiles. Pedopiles.
Dude. Stop dreaming. Get laid!
his mascara is applied unevenly - a fashion fox-pox!
