There are several children in the United States named ESPN. A legally blind man in Doylestown, Pennsylvania entered a guilty plea to charges of possessing massive amounts of child pornography. A Berlin woman stabbed her boyfriend in the head for watching the German-Czech Republic World Cup soccer game. "While seated on the bench," The Smoking Gun reports, "an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist." When a blood-covered man enters your Wal-Mart at 4 a.m. looking to buy garbage bags and new clothes, that is what they call in police terminology a "clue." The employees of the Naples, Florida Wal-Mart interpreted Sheddrick Deon Bentley's strange appearance and behavior as such, and when police discovered a dead body in a nearby dumpster, Mr. Bentley was arrested thanks to the detective work of the graveyard shift at the Naples Wal-Mart.