I have a Twitter account that I never signed up for, and a number of Twitter followers who have never received a tweet. Every day, I add new followers who won't receive my non-existent tweets. Curious about the unfamiliar names alerting me of their receptivity to my tweets, or twittles, or whatever they're called, I clicked on one of the names of my followers. It turns out she wasn't interested in me for my tweets but for my cash. The oldest profession always uses the newest technology.

I don't understand Twitter. Is a mirror too low-tech to satisfy the narcissistic impulse that drives one to announce the mundane occurances of everyday life? Among the tweets my thorough five-minute investigation came across: "And it's Friday night," "Shower and then off to NU," and "My hair is untame-able today." Yawn. Twitter is for people who are too ugly for reality television. Not every exhibitionist rates a voyeur.

Twitter is email for people with A.D.D. However much I wish some people spoke in 140 characters or less, it's difficult to convey anything too meaningful within those limitations, which moves me to grant a pardon to the guy who wrote "The S is for 'sleepy.' Goodnight, Twitterverse," but not to those who believe that Twitter is the future of journalism. Twitter is to the Internet what soundbytes are to television and haiku is to poetry. With a scientific study, and common sense, indicating that Internet users scan more than read, Twitter meshes well with the zeitgeist. It is technology's latest enlistee in its ongoing war against literacy.

What's the point of Twitter when there's gmail and text messaging? This is not a rhetorical question. If Twitter really offers something original, and not just a repackaging of existing technology, I'd like to participate. My clock didn't stop in 1995. I have a blog, after all.

But Twitter? FaceBook? iPhone? Kindle? You're losing me people. Save me from atavistic irrelevance. That guy who still uses a typewriter, calls you on a rotary phone, plays the hits on his Victriola, needs a converter box to watch Barney Miller on his black and white TV set--am I becoming that guy? Or, alternatively, am I becoming another guy? You know, the guy who never said "Ten-four, good buddy" on his CB radio, never sold his eight-tracks at his yard sale, never watched Jaws on his Betamax, and never rode his Segway to the grocery store because he never fell for every hyped-up fad that came and went.

Ashton Kutcher goes on Larry King to tell the world he loves Twitter. UFC announcers broadcast that Dana White would be tweeting the results of the untelevised preliminary cage fights on Saturday night. News reports tout Twitter's role in the uprising in Iran. How much is Mr. Twitter paying these people? The revolution will not be televised. It will be tweeted, and even if it's not, the Twittericans will say that it is.

If we don't twitter, the terrorists win.

I'll disagree with you Dan and offer the following comment. I have a twitter account (@thesciphishow if anybody is interested) and i've been having a chat with a friend from canada (@sonicsociety) for months now in 140 character snippets (although often spilling across multiple tweets) about politics, economics etc. It is very interesting and i'm finding it quite stimulating. Other people pop in an out of the conversation and offer tidbits from time to time. It may not be for everybody, but I enjoy it.

Twitter is perfect for spreeding propaganda! Remember the Maine!

This is the kind of childish foolishness that the Democrats are all about....

"N.Y. Senate Talks Fail Miserably, Chaos Ensues
Dems Refuse To Recognize Espada As President Pro Tem, Don't Stand For Pledge Of Allegiance During Special Session

Republicans Fail To Take Podium, Pass Bills By Acclamation
Reporting
Marcia Kramer ALBANY (CBS) ―

After talks of a power-sharing arrangement broke down, Democrats locked themselves in the Senate chamber, Republicans tried to conduct business on their own and none of the "people's business" got done.

As incredible as it may seem, pictures obtained by CBS 2 HD are of the Democratic senators who locked themselves inside their chamber so they could be "first in" for Gov. David Paterson's special session. The pictures, shot through the window of a Senate door, seem to show that it was all about taking possession of the podium.

Yonkers Sen. Andrea Stewart Cousins is seen standing there to prevent the Republicans from taking over. The move came shortly after Democrats said talks of establishing a bi-partisan operating agreement fell through because a Republican coalition insisted the Senate president be Bronx Sen. Pedro Espada."

Is it any wonder that New York is in total disarray? When Democrats run the show, it isn't any wonder at all.

I agree. The late Boomers and those who came after seem unable to be alone with their thoughts for even the briefest period of time.

I'm with you Dan. I just don't understand why anyone needs Twitter. Facebook I can see, as it offers a way for people to keep in contact with far-flung friends and post pictures, and some people don't want to go to the trouble of setting up their own pages. But, tweeting just seems stupid.