"To hell with his human rights," shouts the menacing guard, "Give him Aguilera!" "No! I'll talk. I'll talk," the prisoner responds. "Anything but the Aguilera!" The detainee begins to intricately describe the inner workings of al Qaeda.

U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba employ a widely known but rarely used form of torture: the music of Christina Aguilera. You can bet that the bad guys will talk after a few minutes of "Beautiful." And if they don't, why then, the guards can just crank up Air Supply to eleven, or introduce the prisoner to the musical stylings of DeBarge. Somebody call Amnesty International to make the torment stop.

Dan: If Christina doesn't work, I'll use that now trite phrase: "Go nuclear."
Wham. Wake Me Up, Before you Go Go!

Good call, John. Perhaps the guards could wear the '80s-style message t-shirts that Wham often wore, which would certainly add to the misery.

You want to torture the Gitmo prisoners? Four words: Backstreet Boys new album!