Taking after their most famous fellow countryman's love for animals, Austria has passed a stringent new animals rights law. Among other things, the bill outlaws caging chickens, using lions at circuses, and placing puppies in hot pet-shop windows. Austrian Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel maintains, "Austria is taking the role of pioneer." Pioneer of what? Foolishness?

Someone named Andreas Sax, who leads an animal rights group called Four Paws, calls the law "the first step in the right direction." What are steps two, three, and four? Legalizing interspecies marriage, banning animal crackers, and making humans the pets of dogs?