The Dream Team of Bird, Magic, Jordan, and friends has become a nightmare assortment of individuals who, ironically, most fans can't name. Don't pick Jim Zorn for your fantasy team, as he's retired and wasn't that good when he played. The same goes for Napoleon McCallum. Iraqis play soccer better than they fight wars. The Red Sox are just six-and-a-half games out of first place. If you ever run out of pot, just call Ricky Williams. Joe Mesi, the latest (and most entertaining) great white hope, will end his boxing career undefeated due to a brain injury. Blown-up middleweight James "Lights Out" Toney is now a fat, blown-up heavyweight. Riddick Bowe, who was recently released from the penitentiary, incredibly now weighs less than Toney. But Nevada Inmate No. 71979 is the most dangerous man soon to be let loose on the heavyweight division. I, Max is the worst sports show. Ever. Carly Patterson's face will most certainly appear on a Wheaties box real soon.

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