Tonight, a giant space creature invisible to the naked eye will begin to swallow the Moon at 6:18 East Coast time. Not finding cheese pleasing to his palate, the space monster will spit the Moon out later in the evening. "Scientists" call this a lunar eclipse. FlynnFiles readers know better than to buy into that fancy, book-learnin' mumbo-jumbo. Give me...my...computer!!! Ahhh, that's better. An absolute lunatic broke into my apartment and posted that. Just to correct the record, tonight's eclipse will be a penumbral eclipse. The good news is tonight's eclipse is rare. Penumbral eclipses occur five times this century, with the next one occuring in 2053 (mark your calendar!). The bad news is that penumbral eclipses aren't as cool as regular eclipses because the Moon passes through the Earth's outer shadow, making the Moon darker but still quite visible. You'll still be able to see the Moon, which I suppose is better than seeing nothing. Wait, no it's not. Seeing nothing, or almost nothing, is the whole point of lunar eclipses. I demand a refund.

the moon is dark? you mean cheddar cheese dark?