A few thoughts on the Tiger Woods debacle:

1. The Tiger Woods scandal says more about society than it does about Tiger Woods. People fall. They get up. This happens every day. The difference here is that a 300-million-man mob of gawkers obsessively looks on in amusement. Tiger's sins, though shameful, are ordinary. Society's pathological obsession with the sex lives of strangers is what stands out. The entire world has become a supermarket checkout line.

2. You've heard of six degrees of Kevin Bacon. How about six degrees of The Tool Academy? It must be horrifying for Tiger Woods, let alone his bride, that one of his alleged mistresses was last seen by millions of Americans dating this guy on VH1's The Tool Academy. Even Tiger Woods is less than six degrees separated from stupid.

3. Some people can't bring themselves to say that adultery is wrong. It only becomes a moral evil when it's associated with Republicans. Joy Behar made such an argument on "The View" yesterday (I have no idea what Tiger's political views are). Tiger "has never held himself up as one of these pro-marriage, right-wing kind of guys who is anti-gay," rationalized Behar of Tiger's affairs. Who cares? Should Behar's political kin be immune from such scrutiny because of their enlightened opinions. Behar seems to think so. Being a liberal means never having to say you're sorry.

4. The number of bimbos claiming encounters with Tiger has an "I am Sparticus" feel to it. When one or two fledgling reality television stars claim a relationship, it's somewhat believable. Dozens? That actually works in Tiger's favor by discrediting the whole lot. I realize the intent of these women was certainly not as noble as the slaves falsly claiming to be Spartacus, but the effect is nevertheless the same.

5. Tiger's wife is a psycho if the story of her slashing up his face with her fingernails and smashing up his Cadlllac (I thought he sold Buicks?) with a golf club is true. When a man does that, he goes to jail. When a woman does that, it is fare for jokes. Remember: Tiger Woods was seriously injured in a car accident here. Alas, it's probably more rational (Bad word choice here?) to go crazy when you feel your marriage is threatened than it is to crazily pursue liasons.

6. The whole affair highlights how the sex drive overrides judgment. Tiger stands to lose his family, $300 million in divorce court, and hundreds of millions in endorsements because of his extramarital pursuits. By way of comparison, Eliot Spitzer's $1,000-an-hour call girls were a bargain.

7. Public relations 101: Turn the information spicket to full blast. Don't let it drip, drip, drip over the course of several weeks.

Is it okay if I never blog about this again?

* Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

* Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."

* Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

* Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

* What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

* What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

* Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

* Why did Tiger leave the house so early? He has a 2:30 tree time.

* What do a Cadillac SUV and a Nike golf ball have in common? Tiger Woods can drive them both into the trees.

* Apparently Phil Mickelson has placed a couple calls to Elin desperately asking how she beat Tiger.

Who - the Hell - cares.

I worked with Kevin Bacon's sister.

And yes, no more is fine with me.

I couldn't care less. I'm just relieved that no guns were involved in the domestic dispute.

The only reason I've been even mildly aware or interested in this fiasco is that I now have a reason so re-visit pictures of Tiger's smoking hot wife Elin. And, as a bonus, I found out that Elin has an equally smoking hot twin sister Josefin. Double wow.

As far as Tiger goes, if it wasn't murder or pedophilia, just continue to be the best golfer on the planet and entertain people.

I think Tigger is a racist. I could be wrong, but is any of the hoes black?

I don't know about Tigger, but Piglet is one triflin' ass negro.