Perhaps inspired by the success of the dog-mess sandwich, a group of Hindu extremists plans to mass-market a cow urine soft drink. "Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," insisted Om Prakash to the London Times. "[I]t's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins." I hate to break the news to Mr. Prakash, but you're a day late and a dollar short. Hindu bottled cow piss is a pale imitation of Western libation inovation. Like millions of other Westerners, I down a can of a bovine-based piss drink every day. It's called Yellow Red Bull. On weekends, I add vodka.

They'll probably get sued by Mountain Dew.