Are you a single male bored by a dating scene that doesn't compare to World of Warcraft, Club International, or an episode of MANswers? Are you a single female put off by losers whose apartments could never be on MTV'S Cribs and whose six-packs are buried beneath too many twelve-packs? In a follow-up piece to her Child-Man in the Promised Land, Kay Hymowitz brings gender balance to her anthropological account of the American dating scene with Love in the Time of Darwinism. These are must-reads, particularly for those immersed in the dating scene. Do you have any dating horror stories along these lines? Is the opposite sex as bad as she makes it seem in these articles? Do any of my readers ever get dates?

I have a date with my wife almost every night of the week.

I can count my married friends on fewer fingers than I have on my left hand. Many more are 40-50 year old single white guys who are more content to pamper themselves and hook up through the Internet when need be. I don’t see any of these dudes ever taking on the commitments of a relationship. Never mind marriage.

They tell me that it’s the financially mercenary, looking for Mr. Perfect aspects of today’s adult female.

I think it takes two to screw things up and a suspension of realistic expectations that creates a mutual laziness with both sexes.

My wife won't let me date.

My wife would prefer for me to date. ;-)~

That's b/c we've all been suffering ever since the advent of women's suffrage.

Ah, I see now where my first attempt to make that comment went. My apologies. It was meant for the "No 'I' In Team" thread.

The overwhelming women's vote put Obama in the White House. If that's not an argument to repeal the 19th Amendment, I don't know what is!

They were dazzled by a tall, thin smooth talker with a baritone voice who, they thought, represented a kinder gentler more compassionate politician.

As some verbal interplay from As Good as It Gets demonstrates:

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

These were too long for me to read.

I read her last paragraph on men and skimmed a couple parts and she is right about young men being "unfinished" and needing a culture to form them. Of course this is true of women too, and also of most baby boomers, and a number of WW2 generation folk. Maybe it is just the condition of homo viator in general.

Anyway, young men used to become finished by adult women and men, i.e. parents. Both agreed that young men must dress and act like adults and not fornicate. However, now from my experience young women are much more commonly easy sexually than young men and certainly mothers don't really pass on morals like they used to. Ehh, it is just all going to hell or maybe always been there only more so now b/c everyone largely openly is cool with it.

Well, I'm not cool with it. Although I consider that I have fairly liberal attitudes when it comes to sex and what one does to enjoy life in general, I expect that there should be standards and rules governing those kinds of behaviors.

Without them, we're just hairless slightly more evolved monkeys.

My opinion is that the teachings from the 60's were the start of the dismantling of this society. As has happened throughout time immemorial, people in the 40’s and 50’s drank and screwed to the max and even recreational drug use was part of the culture. But there were rules of engagement which kept those kinds of activities somewhat controlled with social standards and religion that would cause one embarrassment or pain of conscience if they were broken.

But the fun mavens of the 60's proclaimed, “If it feels good do it” and the call of the day was to not have a conscience about morality or about breaking the rules (or laws). To bring everything out in the open and keep it, in your face, out in the open.

On a personal note and as an example, I have a 20 something son who bounces around to willing female partners like he’s changing underwear. The girls I see these days appear to have as little interest in pursuing a serious relationship as the lads and are more interested in competing with the guys at every level. From what I gather from him, he respects few of them and has no interest in forming lasting relationship with any of them. (So far?)

The linked articles hit home on this.

We’ve tried to teach him and our other children the right things but this is not the way we planned it. So either we haven’t done a very good job or he’s just a product of his generation and/or his environment, as his peers seem to be in the same boat.

I say the latter as the former could be the lament of generations of parents.

He’s still young yet but if society continues to condone this kind of behavior and forms generations of ‘hook up’ artists and men and women who are indifferent to each other, the concept that the population control groups have worked towards may be coming to fruition.

Off topic but just saw this on Mr. Flynn:
youtube.com/watch?v=i6JsYV-wBcQ
youtube.com/watch?v=0GuJXOz-gzM
youtube.com/watch?v=kGsourXLuK4

"If a female already has a mate to fertilize her eggs, what does she gain from an E.P.C.? In species where the male helps care for the young, the unfaithful female might risk the loss of her mate's help. Yet the DNA data are unequivocal: Female animals, in species after species, are sexual adventurers in their own right. Why?"

-excerpt from Deflating the Myth of Monogamy, by David P. Barash

The notion that females are precious innocent flowers that tend toward monogamy is a pernicious, devastating stereotype that has blindsided me and the vast majority of my friends for the duration of our dating career. In fact, in my personal experience, no male friend of mine has ever cheated on his partner, and all but a few have been the victim of female infidelity.

Females are inclined to reproduce with the most attractive male, which sadly probably isn't you. Every aspect of their biological instincts tends toward having sex with the most attractive specimen possible; handsome, tall, strong, intelligent, powerful (ie status, wealth, fame). During ovulation, there's a strong possibility of any woman stepping out, unless you're superior to every other male with which she comes in contact.
I've finally reached a point where I can be content with being a lifelong bachelor. I know I can be a faithful, loving, person who exhibits strength, although I don't measure up to much of an alpha male. Unfortunately, throughout my decade long dating experience (I'm a month shy of 26), I have never found someone who has reciprocated that faithfulness and devotion, and I don't ever expect to find a person who can. That has probably been the greatest personal discovery of my life, although it took a decade of painful stumbling to come upon it.

Excellent point PMA and so true.

I've always loved the saying "Mommy's baby, Daddy maybe". I believe it because in my experience I've seen that from all sides.

Anybody who’s been the beneficiary of female infidelity knows that many women have a whimsical attitude about with whom and when they f$%k. They love to talk about how guys are pigs and can’t be trusted, but those are the guys that they’ll gladly sneak off with.

Hard to have any respect for that.