George W. Bush made his primetime push for a $700 billion bailout of financial institutions last night. For the benefit of those who don't speak Bushspeak, I offer translation for a few key passages:

Bush: "This is an extraordinary period for America's economy." Translation: I have presided over the funeral for the American Century. New York, the epicenter of the money world as long as anyone can remember, is no longer the capital of world finance. The dollar has been in freefall since I have been president, Wall Street is in shambles, foreigners laugh at us, and I am about to give you a recession as a going away present.

Bush: "[M]any Americans have felt anxiety about their finances and their future. I understand their worry and their frustration." Translation: My predecessor said, "I feel your pain." I am your pain.

Bush: "I'm a strong believer in free enterprise, so my natural instinct is to oppose government intervention. I believe companies that make bad decisions should be allowed to go out of business." Translation: These words are the exact opposite of my modus operandi. Of course, if by "free enterprise" you mean a mind-its-own-business government, then, hell no, I am against it. By "free enterprise" I mean nationalizing the world's largest insurance company, government giveaways of prescription drugs, enormous farm subsidies, socializing the losses of capitalists, the largest increase in government spending in my lifetime, and stuff like that.

Bush: "Once this crisis is resolved, there will be time to update our financial regulatory structures." Translation: Throw me the idol. I'll give you the whip.

"I am about to give you a recession as a going away present."

Exactamundo. And where will the $700 bill come from? Printing presses I suspect. Get ready for more inflation.

"Once this crisis is resolved, there will be time to update our financial regulatory structures."

Since when? And I love how these guys are packaging this as an eventual boon to the taxpayers. Like any rise in equity won’t be poured into bigger and more expensive programs?

Is that cynical? ;-/

Throw me the idol. I'll give you the whip.

Classic.

Putting any blame on President Bush is nonsense. First look to the Federal Reserve and the money supply. People on Wall Street and everywhere else are simply obliged to respond to price signals such as they are. What do you think sent the prices of houses skyrocketing? About a year ago I read a column by Dan Dorfman in the New York Sun. He said that packaged securities amounted to 285 Trillion. Now noone knows where the mountain of derivates reaches.

Another parallel: when the traitor first told Dr. Jones to throw him the idol, and Dr. Jones was suspicious, the traitor said "No time to argue!" before repeating throw-me-the-idol etc.

I've always been pro-Iraq war. I was from the beginning, and though there are many legitimate complaints/criticisms, I still am for the general principles given by Bush at the time.

Now, however, considering this nation is bankrupt. How can we possibly say that it makes any sense to continue shelling out infinite money for this overseas adventures? The time is now to start changing our M.O. globally where we aren't the world's policeman, and not subsidizing every crackpot regime. Time to shed the empire so that we can regrow the dollar.

And time to start jettisoning every government program possible to cut the budget, yet where's this on the political agenda? Nowhere.

And Dan, I loved this line the best: "Translation: My predecessor said, "I feel your pain." I am your pain."

A good start would be for us to retract our welfare commitments to foreign countries, especially in Africa. Bush allowed for the biggest financial giveaway to that continent in history and we just can't afford it.

Although, if the Obamanation gets in, we know he's a third worlder and has already said that he will increase our aid there and elsewhere.

Have to agree about our military spending. We need to look closer at how much we want to extent ourselves.