Katie Couric informed Matt Lauer today of her decision to join CBS as its anchorwoman. According to my inside sources, the conversation, witnessed by the entire news team, didn't go smoothly. Here's how the discussion went down:

KATIE COURIC: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.

MATT LAUER: I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. 'Katie had a very funny joke today.' I laughed at it later that night!

KATIE COURIC: I can't believe that I cared for you!

MATT LAURER: Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!

Great scene.

Then he hit her with his purse.

Does anybody really give a crap about these two total light weights?

The answer is a big fat no. Long live Ron Burgundy!

The likes of Katie Couric symbolize what's wrong with today's news media: It's form over function and the facts don't matter (they're for the little people, anyway). Let's bring back the old school anchors and get rid of the bubble-heads. The old-schoolers may have been a little left of center on the issues but at least they could speak to them in an intelligent manner.

For those who still only get their information from the daily national network news, light is good. Most of these people (whoever they are) aren't paying much attention to the substance anyway and are more than happy to tune in just to see what up with Katie or maybe what she's wearing.

I believe the news should be read by men of good charecter while drinking scotch...single malt on the rocks. And they should be smoking while reading it. They should be at least sixty and grizzled. They should have served, in the milatary, not time. When a wierd story comes across the wire they should pause, squint and use the phrase" What the Christ is this". Then mutter, " the world is off it's freakin axis," before continuing to read the news.

Ted, you're SORELY missed.