Austria is much colder than it is on television with the Crocodile Hunter. I don't know how the Aborigines survived half-naked amid all the snow. Perhaps the Aborigines just summer there, as I have yet to spot a single one. I blog from Salzburg, which is home to one of the oldest salt-mining operations in the world. When I point out the coincidence that the city's name and "salt" are so similar, I elicit blank stares. It's frustrating.
Salzburg is celebrating the 250th anniversary of Mozart's birth later this week. If you don't know about music history, Mozart was made famous by Falco's '80s classic, "Rock Me Amadeus." Unfortunately, the folks in Salzburg have turned their backs on the past. They have completely excluded the reason for Mozart's renown, Falco, from the festivities. Instead, they are focusing on this Mozart guy who was a complete nobody until the song "Rock Me Amadeus" came around. Mozart celebrations even have a dress code, ostensibly to keep out the riff-raff but in reality to exclude the motorcycling, leather-clad followers of Falco who are certain to be furious at this outrageous snub.
Motion pictures, specifically Clark Griswold's rendition of "The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Griswold" from European Vacation, stands as a second reason for the Salzburg area's fame. The local secenry displayed when Rusty, Clark, Ellen, and Audrey dance in the green hills brought an influx of tourists to the area. Again, Salzburg has played down what put them on the map. Instead of European Vacation, the locals tend to highlight some Julie Andrews movie that clearly ripped off European Vacation. Ingrates!
The trip has not been without anthroplogical benefits. The Austrinians have a habit of dropping the whole "g'day mate" routine around foreigners. Whenever I attempt to start a conversation or ask directions, the locals immediately pretend to speak German. How rude! A few answered me, but did so by adopting a Colonel Klink/Klaus Meine accent. I got tired of this treatment, and finally implored my hosts: "Learn the language! Aren't you Austrinians? Speak American!"
Tourists from the United States get the "the ugly American" label thrown at them for alleged cultural insensitivity, ignorance, and bad manners. My two days in Salzburg have turned this stereotype on its head, as events compelled me to educate the Austrinian people on their history, culture, and language. Here's hoping that they show their appreciation by remembering me before they dare label another one of my countrymen an "ugly American."
Nice bit of satire, Dan. Ummm...it IS satire, right? ;)
Are you going to check out Graz, to see if they've complied with Arnold's request to remove his name from their stinking stadium?
P.S.: This reminded me of a teenage girl I met, back in the seventies, who, when I said something about Austria, laughed and said, "Oh, you mean Australia."
G'day mate,What is this asking for directions stuff? Have you no honor? Or is it just that the good wife is at home and cannot see you doing it. Has there been a change in govt. for the better in Austria. Please give us a little flavor. Thanks, Chris
Keep an eye out for Bruno seeing as you've clearly met (your inner) Ali G.
Gary, if it's not satire, then I think Daniel-san has had too many wiki wiki saki's!
Take Gary's advice and search out that stadium. Be sure to ask lots of people for directions to "the stadium formerly known as Arnold Schwar..."
Or when Jim Carrey's character (Dumb?) in Dumb and Dumber rolls down the window of his limo and asks the model at the bus stop where she's from and when she replies that she's from Austria, he tells her to throw another shrimp on the barbe.
Satire is good. I just hate that movie.
And what is it with the Austrians where they dis' the people who put them on the map? First Amadeus and recently Ahhrrnold?
