I almost veered off the side of Route 2 in Concord, Massachusetts on Sunday after pulling behind a large, state-owned pick-up truck that advertised "ENVIRONMENTAL POLICE" on its tailgate. Was I in a dystopian novel? Environmental police? What is that? Halt! Don't even think about throwing away that Coke can, son. Put it in the recycling bin or we will shoot to kill! On Monday, a family member asked for paper and plastic at the supermarket, which prompted the woman in the back of the line to intone, "Paper only for me. Save the Earth!" And then there is Al Gore's documentary/filmed lecture An Inconvenient Truth, which I got around to watching last week.

I find it hard to believe that seven years after South Park's Getting Gay with Kids episode--the one in which children get carted off to the rainforest to save it by singing a song--this film could have been made. In the post-GGWK world, An Inconvenient Truth was not supposed to happen. Co-produced by Larry David's wife, offering tips to save the earth in the credits, and closing with a "Getting Gay with Kids"-style song--"I Need to Wake Up"--by Melissa Etheridge, the film, at least in this closing sequence, views as a parody. The confluence of celebrities, feel-good nonsense advice about saving the planet, and the politically correct song just sent the film over the edge into "Getting Gay with Kids" Territory. Perhaps that is why it won an Oscar.

More annoying is the poseur phoniness of Al Gore, which you might remember from his gentle earth tones wardrobe, his metrosexual beard, or his Fake Angry Southern Populist Voice (FASPV) from the 2000 campaign. In An Inconvenient Truth, he has added to his already impressive arsenal of Al Gore personalities in the invention of the Candid Soft I Am Your Friend Voice (CSIAYFV). CSIAYFV is to FASPV what Blue Steel is to Magnum. Gore has one voice on the lecture circuit and on the phone. I call that, despite not truly knowing which one is really the genuine article, the Al Gore Voice (AGV). When he talks about personal tragedy or wants to underscore the seriousness of an issue, he dispenses with the AGV and adopts the CSIAYFV. He slows down the cadence, speaks softly, and generally acts like the guy at the hospital who tells you that your grandfather is dead. Acting doesn't belong in a documentary.

Perhaps one has to be an actor to peddle the scare scenarios Gore highlights. The former vice president envisions South Florida immersed in water, a snowless Mt. Kilimangaro, and a Glacier National Park without glaciers. Of course, like so many problems outlined by the Left, America is to blame. He explains, "We are still, by far, the worst contributor to the problem." But we can do something about it: "We can make choices to bring our individual carbon emissions to zero." Sure we can. And we can all defecate in the woods, drive foot-powered Flintstones cars, and eat roots and grubs. Get real.

"I've seen scientists," Gore notes in An Inconvenient Truth, "who were persecuted, ridiculed, deprived of jobs, income, simply because the facts they discovered led them to an inconvenient truth that they insisted on telling." Virtually every scientist who fits that description questions some aspect of man-made climate change theory. That's the inconvenient truth.

Part of my daily commute includes taking a boat and if you think that their existence and truck fleet is over done, you should see the Mass. Environ(mental) Police navy. They have a flotilla of high end boats, usually manned by two to three green agent layabouts in snazzy uniforms who patrol Boston harbor and the islands searching for evil polluters and litterbugs alike.

But, they are soo important cause, as Reverend Al says: "the planet has a feeeevvvagh".

Q: What is the documentary about? Is it about global warming, or about Al Gore giving a speech about Global Warming, or about Al Gore's supposedly 35 year struggle to get people to recognize the problem of Global Warming?

This problem makes it very odd to watch.

I bet the documentary doesn't delve into (can I buy me a carbon credit) Gore's holdings in Occidental Oil or the fact that he was instrumental in getting millions of barrels of military reserve oil released during Clinton's second run at the White House so that the price could remain artifically low. Not that oil consumption pollutes.

He's a filthy snake oil saleman.

In June of 1947 Aliens supposedly reached earth at Roswell, New Mexico. Exactly nine months later Albert Gore was born. Case closed I say.