
I've started my own animal rights group. It's called People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals by People in People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals--or PETAPPETA for short. I launched PETAPPETA early Friday morning after learning that police in Ahoskie, North Carolina arrested two PETA employees on charges of animal cruelty. The pair allegedly tossed 18 dead dogs and cats in a dumpster. When the cops caught up with them, the duo had 13 dead animals in their van. These animals were alive, officials at two critter shelters claim, when the PETA duo picked them up. The first order of business of PETAPPETA is to decide what action to take against these two PETA culprits. Suggestions have included dumping red paint on them, accosting them with literature comparing chicken farming with the Holocaust, or breaking into their place of work to free all of the animals these speciesist fiends have imprisoned. Our tactics in PETAPPETA may be extreme, but at least no one can accuse us of being hypocrites.
They were probably UGLY cats & dogs. PETA only cares about cute animals. That's why PETA tries to save the dolphins but does NOT care about tuna.
Ha! You made me laugh so hard I had to stop eating the finger-licking good KFC I was enjoying. Mmmm...chicken.
Tar and feather 'em. Hypocrites.
You arrogant, patronizing and vicious human beings never get it! True animal liberation will only come when animals fight for and win it themselves. Your narcissism is disgusting - you actually call some of your animal rights organizations "humane" societies - while reducing all the other members of the animal kingdom to extinction, or worse: domestication. Don't even get me started on those sell-out collaborators. Lassie, Yogi, Morris, Bugs, Barney and the San Diego Chicken, grrrr, your time will come! O humans, your selfish and blind efforts have forced us otherwise peaceloving beasts into a choice that is no choice: we have and will continue to insist on the right to arm bears!!!
Hikers, bikers, and campers beware!
Mountain Lion
Does PDiddy show up at any point with a "Vote or Die" posse?
Great job, Dan. This is quite possibly the funniest thing you've ever written, rivalled only by how the rest of the world "has given roughly $500 billion less aid" than we've given to it.
First off, it is wrong and hipocritical what these TWO people did. You cant judge the entire organization on TWO people. THere are at least two bad apples in any organization. Second, killing animals simply for their meat is wrong (unless you are starving to death and the only thing to eat is an animal) because then it becomes survival. But why does the suffering and death of non-human animals count for so much less than the suffering and death of human animals? THere is no good justification. If you believe it is because they are less-advanced as us then why dont you eat mentally disabled people too? Some people may never reach the "normal" intellegence level of an adult. Is it then justifiable to eat these people? Is it because it is natural and what is natural is right? I dont think so, there are all sorts of atroctities in the animal kingdom that is perfectly natural and could still be deemed as wrong. For example male lions rape femal lions all the time. every day even. The femals show a great deal of pain through the process. THat is natural..but is it right? you be the judge, maybe. Factory farms are awful. Animals are pumped full of hormones then they get sick because they all live right on top of eachother and are sitting in all of their feces. So when they get sick they get pumped full of antibiotics..then causing the diseases to become resistant to the anntibiotics. Great...now we have a disease that can not be cured. Thanks a lot meat industry. Not to mention all the pain and suffering on the animals part. So enjoy your meat but be mindful of the suffering that went into it.
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Maybe you don't want to judge PETA on these two people, but I can certainly judge them on every PETA person I've ever met INCLUDING these two - they are all nuts. Honestly, animal cruelty is wrong, but this group tries to fight it in ways that make them a joke. And many of their tactics are hypocritical, not just this case. But this one is especially funny because they got caught so red-handed.
Besides, they make a practice of judging entire industries on one case they saw one time, why can't we do the same to them?



